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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26223595">The Darker Sooner</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/delgaserasca/pseuds/delgaserasca'>delgaserasca</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Trek Bingo 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Episode: s02e10 Mirror Mirror, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mirror Universe (Star Trek), Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:20:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26223595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/delgaserasca/pseuds/delgaserasca</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>You would be wrong to underestimate me, Spock tells him afterwards.</em>
</p><p>Jim and Spock in the Mirror Universe. Canon compliant, with all that entails. (Please heed the tags.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mirror James T. Kirk/Mirror Spock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Trek Bingo 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Star Trek Bingo Summer 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Darker Sooner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Trek Bingo 2020; prompt <em>Darkfic / Mirror Universe</em>. Thanks to <b><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Door">Door</a></b> for the beta!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It isn’t entirely a conscious decision. He comes to the Enterprise thinking he could learn a lot from Christopher Pike, but it’s the work of a moment that makes Jim change his mind. He’s always had an appetite, and after Tarsus he promised himself he’d never go hungry again.</p><p>That’s why, when he sees Spock for the first time, Chris Pike’s fate is sealed.</p><p>*</p><p>Spock isn’t like the other crew. That’s true even without his hybridism. He tells Jim plainly: he joined Starfleet for science, not power. <em>I will serve you</em>, he promises, <em>in whatever capacity you see fit, so long as I am able to complete my work</em> - which is not to say he isn’t ruthless when called upon. The first time Lieutenant Stiles tries to take his life, Spock dispatches him without a thought. No phaser, no blade, just two hands around his jaw, and a sharp, forceful twist, as clean as a parting kiss. </p><p><em>You would be wrong to underestimate me</em>, Spock tells him afterwards.</p><p>*</p><p>Spock has his own men, too, secreted among the crew. Bones has been keeping a list. It’s not very long, from what Jim has been able to ascertain, but it’s absolute. So long as he has Spock on side, he has his men as well - two hands in Science, two in Engineering, Lieutenant Uhura - who may or may not have her sights set on being the Captain’s woman if a personnel change happens in Spock’s favor - and a scattering of Security, even a couple Jim had thought loyal to Sulu. It’s strange to see someone so revered, and Spock <em>is</em> revered, rather than feared. There’s no doubt he could inflict as much damage as Kirk on a good day, but he follows commands with beautiful, brutal efficiency and ruthless logic.</p><p>Kirk is not necessarily a logical creature. He wants whatever people say he can’t have, and when he sees Spock - cold, aloof, Mr. Spock, never ruffled, never disturbed - he wants to put his hands on him, see what noises he makes.</p><p>He throws Spock in an agonizer once and only once. It happens early in his Captaincy, after someone in the Sciences makes a mistake that takes out two of the labs. It’s something minor overall, and nothing to do with Spock, but Jim gives the order partly to see what the Vulcan will do, as well as to make a point: Jim Kirk has no favorites. Anyone is subject to his fury. </p><p>Spock doesn’t protest; doesn’t flinch at Jim’s instruction. Even in the booth, muscles cramping in pain, there’s something somber and dignified about him, and when Jim stands in front of him, he meets his eye, stuttering, but unmistakable. Jim’s impressed despite himself.</p><p>Three days afterwards, Spock thwarts an attempt on Jim’s life. He says nothing in the aftermath, only watches as Jim kills the crewman himself. It’s a detente, Jim realizes; a workable impasse. The hunger gnaws at him, dissatisfied. Jim will take miles over inches any day.</p><p>*</p><p>Spock comes to Jim’s quarters at his behest, but refuses a drink. <em>Smart</em>, Jim says, <em>but it’s not laced. See?</em> He takes a sip from his glass. <em>Go on, it’s safe.</em></p><p>
  <em>Vulcans do not imbibe alcohol.</em>
</p><p><em>Is that what you are,</em> Jim asks, settling on the edge of his desk, <em>a Vulcan? Here I thought you were a Terran sympathizer. A half-breed. An abomination.</em></p><p><em>I am the product of science,</em> Spock says.</p><p><em>And your mother?</em> Jim asks, curious.</p><p><em>I do not know,</em> Spock answers. Jim doesn’t know how, but he knows it’s a lie.</p><p><em>You can’t serve if you won’t drink with me, </em>Jim says, only half in earnest.<em> How am I supposed to trust a man who won’t have a drink with me?</em></p><p>Spock considers him for a moment, before inclining his head in what passes for concession. <em>Very well, Captain,</em> he says, reaching for the previously refused glass-- but Jim gets there first.</p><p><em>Ah, ah,</em> he says, coming in close. <em>Open wide</em>. </p><p>Gently, he tips the contents of the glass into Spock’s mouth, watching as the man coughs lightly, before fisting a hand in his hair and forcing his head down to lick the taste out of his mouth. Spock keeps his hands behind his back, but bends towards Jim nonetheless, leaving himself open to the assault. </p><p>I could eat you, Jim thinks, I could feast and never be full.</p><p>*</p><p>On Andoria, Spock saves Jim’s life. It’s becoming a habit. Jim doesn’t let down his guard, but he begins to trust in the bargain they've struck. As long as Jim allows Spock to follow his own curiosity, Jim can count on his support. Spock is predictable and reliable, and he had tasted acutely sour underneath all that whiskey Jim poured into his mouth - hot and sharp, something acidic covering something alkaline at the same time. He’s a little taller than Jim, too, something Jim likes but would never admit to. He likes that Spock is stronger than him - is something he can brace against if needed. He could break himself on Spock a thousand times, and Spock would never falter.</p><p><em>Will you never overthrow me?</em> Jim asks.</p><p><em>Is this what you would prefer?</em> Spock asks, in a way that indicates he has no investment in the answer.</p><p><em>You could be something,</em> Jim says, <em>if you’d take the chance.</em></p><p><em>It is redundant to suggest that I am not ’something’,</em> Spock says, <em>when you are able to discern my existence.</em> </p><p>Jim laughs. <em>Yes, Mr. Spock. You’re certainly something else.</em> </p><p>*</p><p>He leaves the conn to Spock when he heads down to Halka, confident that Scotty and Bones between them can persuade the Halkan Council of his seriousness. The Empire wants that dilithium, and Jim intends to get it one way or the other. Trust him to leave Spock behind the one time he needs him.</p><p>The transporter malfunction takes him out of his own life and into a pale facsimile of it. For a little while, he doesn’t understand; for a moment he thinks there’s been a coup, Spock standing there, clean-shaven but inflexible as ever. There’s something calmly resolute about him that finally convinces Jim he’s not looking at his own First Officer. Nonetheless, he looks at Jim with inquisitiveness, simultaneously familiar and foreign.</p><p>Jim’s own Spock has never looked at him that way, and the knowledge of that apathy licks anger up Jim’s spine like wildfire. The Spock of Jim’s Enterprise reserves his own fascination for whatever sits under the lens of his microscope, not his Captain. No, this man is too open, too direct to be Jim’s Spock.</p><p>There are other differences too; he cannot be bent; he will not succumb to barter. He realizes that for all his Spock’s so-called loyalty, he knows very little about him. Jim has been assuming there is a detente between them, but this Spock - this other Spock, so distant from his own, yet fit to burst with intrigue - illuminates his own Spock’s reserve all the more. If Jim’s Spock is as malleable as molten iron, this Spock is soldered and fortified. They are not the same, but similar currents move them. Jim feels that old hunger in the pit of his stomach, the one that makes him hot with anger - the one that tells him he is being held at bay when he has sworn to himself he never will be again.   </p><p>Eventually he and his crew are dragged back to the transporter room, albeit still manacled. </p><p><em>You can’t leave me like this,</em> Jim spits,<em> you’ll ruin me.</em></p><p><em>That is your concern, Mr. Kirk,</em> says Spock. The absence of his title is a marked point of disrespect, a slight Jim carries home with him as the transporter energizes. </p><p>*</p><p>Spock stuns the others in the party as they materialize. If it weren’t for the beard, Jim might have thought  they’d ended up on the wrong ship again. As it is, it’s Spock’s impassivity that tips the scale. It’s hard to judge what Spock does or doesn’t want; what he says matches with what he does, but Jim can’t trust that. No one in this world could survive so long without a hidden agenda. </p><p><em>What’s the meaning of this?</em> Jim asks as Spock’s men come to remand Uhura, Scotty, Bones to the brig.</p><p><em>Lieutenant Sulu has made an attempt on your life, and your Captaincy</em>, Spock says, reaching forward to remove the bonds from Jim’s wrists. <em>In the interest of your safety, I judged it would be best not to make assumptions of loyalty.</em> He looks Jim squarely in the eye. <em>We ought to retire to a defensible position. Command will expect to hear from you.</em></p><p>They make their way to Jim’s quarters, Spock recounting the events of the last two days. He had ascertained that the other Kirk was not his Captain despite his attempts to obfuscate his identity.</p><p><em>He should have known better,</em> Jim says. <em>Nothing gets past you, eh, Spock?</em></p><p><em>He was not as you are,</em> Spock says as they enter Jim’s rooms.</p><p><em>What does that mean?</em> he asks. A coward, he assumes, if their world is anything to go by - yellow-bellied and weak. Someone less ravenous; more satiable.</p><p>He hears Spock shift behind him. <em>He was not nearly so trusting.</em></p><p><em>What do you mean?</em> Jim asks.</p><p>But he already knows; it was only a matter of time. He turns slowly to see Spock by the now-uncovered Tantalus Field. Jim’s phaser and his knife are on the other side of the room; there’s a knife in his boot but Spock is fast when he wants to be. Jim doesn’t stand a chance against him.</p><p><em>What do you want - money? A ship?</em> he asks as he did on that other Enterprise, knowing now as he had then that the question was moot. Spock would not be swayed by promises of power. He would take whatever he needed. </p><p><em>You’re mine,</em> Jim says.</p><p><em>That may be true, Captain,</em> Spock says, his hand on the dial, <em>but it does not change what I must do.</em></p><p><em>We could be something,</em> Jim says.</p><p><em>I am,</em> says Spock.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Our charge was error.<br/>
Instead of leader we had louder,<br/>
instead of lover, never.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>
      <strong>— Catherine Wing, The Darker Sooner</strong>
    </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>
  <strong>END.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title and epigraph from Catherine Wing's tremendous (and fitting) poem, <a href="https://motherground.tumblr.com/post/16571174941/the-darker-sooner">The Darker Sooner</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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